There’s an idea called ‘breaking embargo’. Basically, it means violating an understanding that things will be kept out of the public eye. Doing so pretty much frees everyone else involved from keeping their side private as well.
One of my former players, Ryan Wilson – who rage quit from my game and was later informed he was banned – has broken embargo on this, in order to engage in a personal attack on me. Typical of the cowardice of such actions, he made sure I could not respond to him.
So I am responding to it here. And I’m making a statement of general policy – as a LARP runner, I am not required to accept this type of behavior as normal and acceptable; nor am I required to just suck it up when he misrepresents what occurred in a never-ending attempt to make himself look like the good guy.
He isn’t. He is the poster child for the passive-aggressive toxic player that makes LARP a drama fest.
I am not a politician, I’m an creator. And I have a day job, which gives me little time to play these games on top of the games I want to actually play.
So here it is – Ryan Wilson has accused me of being an egomaniac who takes any criticism as a personal attack. I accuse him, with evidence, of being a vindictive belligerent whom I feel bad for any LARP runner who hasn’t the ability to kick his ass to the curb.
This from a man who spent most of his time at my game bashing another game he continues to play and bad-mouthing their staff and players.
A bit of history: Ryan and one of my staff members, Rachel, have some bad blood due to details I won’t go into here. Yet. He is in turn accusing her of deliberately excluding the two women he lives with from a social event, Sadie and Mallory. And this is the conversation that got him banned.
And then he blocked me, lovely individual that he is. And now you have the whole story. He was told he was banned because frankly, he went from “never coming back” to “not being wanted”. This was done privately among the staff and told to only our player council, in accordance with our governing document. And then he decided to make it public.
It is really simple – I will keep your business private until you make it public. Professionalism does not prevent me from defending myself. I don’t start fights, but I do end them.
And I think more LARP runners should adopt this philosophy. Sunshine is the best disinfectant, and a lot of toxicity exists because we’re not ready to tell the whole story. Being transparent about toxicity and those who spread it will make our hobby healthier. We should be polite, be professional … and remove anyone who isn’t the same. By refusing to talk about toxicity, by declining to defend ourselves publicly, by refusing to stand up and declare “this person is a serial problem,” we perpetuate the issue.
Not me. Not today. I speak not only to defend myself, but so that others know what kind of person Ryan is, so they will be prepared to deal with him either as game staff or as a game participant.
As LARP grows in popularity, we must stop scrambling to keep players at all costs, and must realize that this type of player is an inflamed, unnecessary appendix to our growing and healthy hobby. And much like my own appendix, I’m glad to be rid of him.
And thus I consider the matter closed.
6 thoughts on “Ryan Wilson, Breaking Embargo and Toxicity in LARP”
Wow, what a big strong leader you are. Publicly naming and shaming someone. If anyone brings up Planetfall, I’ll be sure to name you explicitly. If you don’t like it, I’d be happy to give you my address, and I’ll put my money where my mouth is at that point. Fucking dick-stain.
Did you address Ryan for his having initiated this situation or do you just think that responding to that behavior in the only way given by Ryan is bad?
Well done, Matt. Shitheads need to shove off.
All of that because someone wasn’t invited to a party???
As a game owner, you are held to a higher standard than your players when it comes to public relations. The public stoning you’ve set up here is shameful on your part, and just proves that your player had actual grounds for accusing you of the things he did.
By doing this you’re creating a culture based on fear, and you will never receive genuine feedback from your player base if they know you will do something like this in return.
A LARP like a lot of other things are usually private venues, ever governed by the maxim “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone”.
Regardless of whether or not someone deserves to be banned or not, and even if the ban itself is blatantly unfair, it is still valid as an exercise of the sovereignty of the management to include or exclude who they damn well please from *their* event.
If someone gets banned, they are not welcome simply because the people running it freaking *said* so, and anyone who cannot respect that is a rebellious miscreant who has no business trying to be a guest in the first place whether or not they actually deserved to be banned to begin with.
And if someone gets banned and then doesn’t GTFO and stay out, they are trespassing and the people running it are perfectly within their rights to call the police, who will probably arrest them, and the cops aren’t really going to give a damn why they were banned to begin with, nor should they. And additionally, if they get a trespass charge on their rap sheet, especially if it’s from not complying with a ban, I would be more than happy to blacklist them from my own LARP. Stubborn assholes who can’t take a hint after someone else kicks them out aren’t the kind of people I want in my game either.
If someone is unfairly banned, their recourse is to boycott the event and tell their tale to anyone else that is willing to bend an ear to them about it, or appeal it to the proper authorities. NOT argue about the actual ban with the people who issued it and sure as hell not to put on a disguise and sneak back in.